Zero Wife Material

My wife material is zero. Proceed with caution. I no get sense. Not one kobo. You are free to refuse to pay bride price because the girl no get sense at all. My father will return it anyway because I am free to go back to his house if you and your family happen to be mentally unstable.

I will not cook, clean and bear your children because that is what society expects of me. I cook and clean because I am a functional adult not because I am a woman and I expect a bloody grown ass man to be able to do the same. Women don't have special genes for cooking and cleaning. If your mother does it for you feel free to bring her in as domestic staff, we will pay her.

I will bear the children because I am the One with the uterus. If you had yours we will share it one, one. You will tell me women like me have been giving birth and I will tell you men like you have been giving their wives Ferraris and $1m as push presents. Iyen na tun ko?

I will not do upside gymnastics in bed to impress you. My skills are very Christian erm sorry I mean missionary. Before you break my child rearing back in boudoir calisthenics be ready to be committed. I am a fast learner however so watch out ! 😜

Your family will be respected because they respect me and know their boundaries. Be sure I will let them know they are unwelcome if they choose to be mannerless. Yup. Zero wife material.

What I will be however is your biggest fan and your loving honest critic. In me you will always have a cheerleader and a help mate. You will never have to doubt my commitment or loyalty. I am a ride to the end no we are not dying today type of girl. I will continually push you to be the best and I will always give you reasons to be proud. I will stay with you in good health and old age not because I have tied myself in any marriage vows but because I chose to make this work no matter what. Soulmates are not born. Soulmates are made. I call you a King. Not as a term of endearment or a pet name but as a reminder you are with a Queen. I will search for you through a thousand worlds and ten thousand lifetimes until I find you. And I'd choose you in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality. I'd find you. And I'd choose you.


I wasn’t looking for a Knight.

I was looking for a sword.

I needed a hero.

So I became one





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