It was a few nights ago I caught up with my newly married friend Teni (Not real name) and another about to be married friend, Deola.
We were seated at Rhapsodies, Lekki, waiting for other girlfriends to join us. Her marriage anniversary is this December and she was full of great news about how amazing marriage was and how she was having a great time. I was immensely happy for her.
After the initial chit chat and we had settled into a companionable silence sipping our Long Islands and nodding our heads to French Montana’s “Unforgettable”.
Teni let out a small sigh and asked,
“Asake, how far now?”
My heart sank. I knew exactly what she meant and this was a conversation I had no interest in indulging.
“With what babe? I don tell you every nah!”
“No,” She replies leaning forward and grabbing my arm. “I mean getting married! You need to do something!”
“Huhn? I’m supposed to jump at any Tom, Dick or Harry that comes my way?”
“I’ve seen you Asake! You have Toms, Dicks, Harrys, Emekas, Kolas, Yusufs name it! You need to pick one and decide!”
“Ehen! You know them all! Why don’t we put all their names in a basket and pick one right now?”
“Stop it! ” She replied earnestly, “You’re so annoying when you get so flippant! I’m serious!”
Now I’m getting mildly irritated. “Babe listen. I’m happy for you and all but please don’t become one of those annoying newly married women that turn into marriage counselors”
“Listen !” Her grip on my arm tightened. “I have someone for you to meet.”
Now I’m curious, “Really? Is he a zaddy ?”
“No!” She replies impatiently. “All the ones you’re collecting in your phone what are you doing with them? I mean a Man of God. A prayer warrior. He helped me find my husband. He can help you.”
Now I’m confused. “I’m sorry what?”
“See there’s a lot I didn’t tell you about how I met Kunle. It was divine intervention. You know we only met within 3 months and got married shortly after I broke up with Dapo. What I didn’t tell you guys was my cousin gave me the number of this Man of God. I had to go meet him. He prayed for me. Told me so many things…”
“You don’t mean it.” It’s now my turn to lean forward. Elbows on table, chin in hands, eyebrows raised skeptically.
“Yes.” She continued either totally missing my sarcasm or choosing to ignore it. “You think it’s normal for a woman of your status of marriageable age to still be single? Something is wrong! It’s spiritual!”
“Jesu Kristi ” I exclaimed. “I’m possessed! I knew it! ” I clasped my hands on my breasts in an exaggerated manner shaking my head from side to side in fake despair.
“Asake! Stop it! Take this seriously! There was a block over my glory. Once I did what the man of God asked. It was like magic. A miracle happened.
A lot of these married women won’t tell you that is what they did. Trust me a lot of them have been to Alfas or Pastors before they got their marriage breakthrough. If not for my cousin I would still be single and miserable today. Now I’m about to have my one year anniversary. My cousin has been married for 5 years now. It was this same man who helped her. Sade her sister same thing.
Asake this is real. Even your friend Bukky (Not real name) did the same thing. Have you ever wondered how someone like Bukky could find such an amazing man ? This is what women are doing now. Trust me.”
I turned to Deola who had been silent all these while. “Is this true? You went to a pastor?”
Deola gave Teni a side eye and shrugged noncommittally. “My mum took me to a pastor. No biggie”
My mouth is wide open at this point. Are these women for real?
“OK so what did the man of God do for you?”
Teni answered, “I know you think it’s rubbish but just try it. What have you got to lose? You will have to pray and fast for a few days and some names will come to you. You will give them to him and he will pray and fast on the mountain. Before the prayer is over you will get an I unmistakable sign. And you will know who the right person is.”
At this point I’ve had enough and I change the topic.
I actually forgot that conversation till this morning when Teni’s message comes in. “Asake I have spoken to Woli Abraham about you. This is his number 080xxccciii . Call him he is expecting your call”
So this is how you married women have been finding husband and you did not tell us? Wickedness in high places!
Share the numbers of the Wolis and Alfas and Pastors you went to before you got married.