We live in a society where we are more concerned about how others see us, than how we see ourselves. It is a society where other people’s judgement of us is what gets stamped into our psyche. It’s what influences our decisions, our thought processes, our lives. I find myself more and more fierce in my protection of what is truly me: my essence, my uniqueness, my joy.
I see a lot of people completely hiding relationships from the public eye. Friends would be in relationships and keep them from the ‘witches of Instagram’ You can’t tag your boyfriend because your female followers might just slide into his DM! You know sh*t is real thing when you go for dinner/holiday showing two plates of food and only one person is in the picture. Dj Cuppy was vilified on social media for sharing snaps while on holiday covering the face of her boyfriend with emojis. I know someone who didn’t share photos of his then girlfriend till a few weeks to their wedding.
So it really is a thing for people to hide their relationships for various reasons best known to them. However, I feel there is a huge difference between keeping someone a secret and keeping it private. Where do you draw the line?
While I would not post every second of my relationship on Facebook, I would be very much suspicious if I was dating someone and not one photo of me ever surfaced on social media. Oh you eventually married me, but maybe there are 3 or 4 us you are ‘planning to marry’ till you pick one? I don’t know…maybe I’m just an overly paranoid human! Oh some people are private they don’t share their life on social media? But you are happy to share your breakfast, lunch and dinner, your ugly pets, your travels, your work etc.
Like someone once said, ‘I like sharing the good parts of my life on social media. What matters is that I work on being secure with myself not just only posting photos of boyfriends I’m secure of.’ We like to share the most happy parts of our lives on social media and sometimes most of them happen with that special someone so why not share it. Maybe don’t tag them, so the witches won’t come.
I once saw a tweet of a girl who posted a photo of a guy she was on a date with, asking if he was anyone’s boyfriend as she was about to get serious with him. As fate would have it, said guy was actually someone else’s boo. So maybe there’s something to be said for posting your bae on social media? Just to be sure your boo doesn’t have a boo. There’s nowhere to hide on these mean streets of the internet!
I actually cannot hide my happiness despite our culture of hiding ‘good things’. The tradition of don’t let people know, or the wizards of the village might come after you doesn’t work for me. Don’t flaunt your good news in people’s faces I’ve been told. But if I feel it is my prerogative to post whatever I like on my own PERSONAL page, just as it is your prerogative to unfriend or unfollow me – if my happiness is a canker worm to the bitterness in your soul. My joy radiates from within and it is who I am. Being truly myself in a world where everyone is trying to turn you into someone else is more important than living my life in anticipation of other people’s ignorance, stupidity and prejudice. I cannot control it so it is the least of my worries. I have friends who ask ‘what if you break up?’ So what, If I do ? Heartbreaks are as common as chipped nail paint. Who hasn’t had one? Was I happy? Yes, I was. That’s all that matters.
The problem isn’t with the person sharing their life, the problem is with you who have negative views about someone who’s relationship broke up after they have shared it on social media. I will never understand how someone else’s hiccup in life will make the quality of your own life better. It speaks more about your character than mine. Don’t get too caught up in other people’s stories. Don’t be overly concerned with what people think because people will think whatever they want to think regardless. And I’m okay with that; because in the grand scheme of things those are usually the people that matter the least. You can keep your relationship private without keeping it a secret. Live your life on your own terms.
Photo Credit: Wix