We were raised to see sex as something bad.
A taboo. A dirty act.
Nobody does it. Or even if they do
Something to be done in the cover of darkness under the blanket.
Because God frowns upon it.
My strict Islamic and consequent strict Christian upbringing made sure I only found out about sex from romance novels hidden under my mattress borrowed from fellow curious friends.
So I never stood a chance.
I equated sex with love, and electric impulses and butterflies in the belly.
Even my Biology class only taught the mechanics.
I realised then I wouldn't get pregnant if a man kissed me.
Expressions of affection between parents were rarely if ever seen. I never believed my parents ever had sex. I believed we appeared from heaven as gifts from God. I mean who in their right minds ever imagined their parents made them through sex ?
You couldn't even watch TV with your parents while a romantic scene was on. You would be sent on a senseless errand. You were constantly told how bad/dirty such acts were so you were left to get information from your peers who barely had any clues themselves.
I remember standing naked infront of the mirror at age 15 looking at my flat chest and wondering why they didn't have rotund oranges like most of my mates who got all the attention from boys. I started my period shortly after and I couldn't even tell my mum I needed sanitary pads!
So we grew up sexually and emotionally repressed. We grew up as a generation with no idea how to show genuine affection. Our teachers were Hollywood movies, Romance novels, play boy magazines and for some unlucky ones domestic predators.
So when we discovered sex as something to be enjoyed we still kept it secret. Some of us still fight those sexual inhibitions daily. Those who dared express themselves openly were pariahs or at best prostitutes.
Even now, it tells in the tones of most relationships. Sex is supposed to be just ONE expression of affection but now is THE CURRENCY of affection in relationships.
It is transactional.
We are too lazy to discover each other in other ways.
It's easier to constantly exchange bodily fluids with someone than to take off the masks or share phone passwords.
The result is situationships and Knackationship that lead nowhere.
A broken generation.
We can do better.
Let's teach our children better.