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Lagosians Are The Biggest Pretenders


Lagosians could possibly be the biggest pretenders of all time. It's the real Hunger Games outchea. The thirst to be perceived as being more affluent than you really are. The energy most people expend in the attempt to maintain the farce of looking well off might actually be better spent doing something productive. The 'I live on the island I don't know the way to 3rd mainland bridge crew" Nigger your parents live in Iyanda Ipaja. You were born and bred in Anambra and are an immigrant all of a sudden you don't go to the mainland because it is "dangerous"

I laugh in lekki traffic and Park view floods.

You earn 450k a month, pay 2.5m rent in lekki, drive a 10m car, pop bottles with your boys at Escape every weekend. All in the attempt to maintain big boy status but be borrowing 3k to buy fuel in your car. You are a misguided fool.

Your mates have bought 3 bedroom apartments in secure estates all over the mainland. But forget that shit. You must maintain this farce by all means.

When people are living comfortable in Magodo and magodo estates you squeeze yourself into a glorified prison space for 2m a year just so you can say "I live on the island". But your kitchen is empty and Deborah who lives on the mainland is calling you for the 20k you borrowed 3 months ago but you can't pay. Who you fooling though ?

That's how my "friend" told me I should come pay her a visit. Ok where do you live ? Lekki. Where in Lekki ? My friend that is not lekki. That is Epe. That's how I kept travelling for over 2 hours. Through flooded streets that shocked my tires and my bones and water filled gullies that almost swallowed my car whole. Be acting like they can't pronounce mainland names like Egbeda or Ibafor but be living in Agungi/ Sangotedo and be claiming it's Lekki phase 5. My friend, if your house is more than 15mins journey without traffic from Falomo Roundabout Ikoyi. You don't live on the island. You live in Ogun State. Sit down. Be Humble. Get your shit together.

aboutME

I wasn’t looking for a Knight.

I was looking for a sword.

I needed a hero.

So I became one

 

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